Yes I Am....

I can't help but puff my chest out just a little today with all that my kids have and are accomplishing.  Justin and Kevin each graduate today. WooHoo!!!  They have worked so hard and I am just really proud of them.  Trichelle continues on her path to graduation and since she shares with me more than the boys I know how much she has loved all the things she has learned on her journey.  I love having her share her love of learning with me....makes me smile.  Jaydan is just about done with his schooling in Massage Therapy and has loved it.  He gets such good grades because of his interest in what he is doing.  I love having me share his success with me.  These are some of the rewards of being a mom.  Kimleighel and Jared are both at a hard time in life......adolescence....but they are pushing through and are great kids.

I love being a mom and I love watching my kids succeed.  These 7 people that call me mom make my heart smile.....HUGE!  I love them all so much and they have each made my dreams come true.
(maybe a few nightmares too.....reality!)

It's Real

Boy...the things I keep learning!  The learning and experiences never seem to end and I suppose that is good.  I think everyone gets to experience some form of depression at least a few times in their life.  I know I have and at one time after all my kids were here I realized I couldn't beat it on my own.  I had to get some help from the Doctor.  At the time I just thought I had the "baby blues" and maybe so but it was a huge case of it.  I knew I needed help when I head thumped my kid with my head....went right in and called the Doc. (mom's shouldn't be head thumping their kids....it's just not right)  Actually at that time I was on some meds but had quit using them and realized I wasn't ready to be off them quite yet.

I know my kids have struggled at times in their lives too and could see it when they were.  Problem is that sometimes we as people do just think that we need to just "buck up" and get over whatever is getting us down.  Depression is real and I'm so thankful that our family has gotten through ours for the most part.  However, we or at least I have had my eyes opened at how serious depression can be and how it needs to be addressed and handled when you notice it.  I had to be kicked in the gut to notice the severity of it with Jared.  I'm thankful for that "kick"....much better than what could have happened.

I am thankful for a friend that made me a list of things to do and even people to contact.  Even though not everything panned out on the list it got me going and led me to the help we have needed.  This is what has happened so far:
*We got Jared on some vitamins right away. (the friend that made the list gave us some vitamins to get us started)  I don't really agree with Medication since I feel like a lot of the time meds just mask the outer problem.  I would rather go more natural and heal the "core" of the problem and I like what we have done. (will tell in a minute)
*We informed each of our kids about what was happening so that we can all be more sensitive, loving and caring.
*I've talked to Jared over and over about how we all have problems.  He is not alone but in his mind he believes he is the only one that makes mistakes. I have even shared some of my weaknesses with him so that he will realize none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes.  I also have stressed that life is a big test and we will always make mistakes but because of those mistakes we grow and can handle what will come next.  Even though things are frustrating and hard we need them to become better.
*I talked to the school and got a support team going for Jared.  I messaged his teachers a few times asking them to encourage Jared and to just acknowledge his presence.
*I called and talked to a nurse that gave me numbers and places to go for help. (was on my list given to me by my friend)
*I called counseling places and was ready to give up on that until I talked to some of my friends.  Places are so worried about how you are going to pay for treatment and since our insurance stinks and the places I talked to don't even take our insurance they didn't want to help me.  But after talking with my friends I knew I needed to call Social Services and do whatever I had to do to get Jared in to talk with a counselor.  We got in quick and Jared looks forward to going again.
*I am taking Jared to a chiropractor that does "energy" work.  I remembered about him because of different things said and meeting with others.  Dr. Gauruder muscle tests Jared to see if we are giving him the right things.  The "spirit" knows what the body needs. (subconsciousness)  With this doctor many areas are addressed and worked on.  I know many might think this way is Hocus Pocus   but it "feels" right to me.  I love watching as the body and spirit heal....I can see it happen.  After the first visit even I felt better.....like a heavy load had been lifted from me....I felt happier.  The next visit was more with emotions and broke my heart just a little but I was glad that those things can be addressed and healed.  It's a process and will take more visits and more time and money but I feel blessed to be going here.
*I am able to get Jared in for professional testing so that he can get a 504 that will help him succeed the rest of his school years.  I'm actually looking forward to the test since I just thought Jared had ADD but had no idea he really had something wrong with his memory.  There might be more that we aren't aware of and if not at least we will know what my son needs.
*I talked to his Church leaders so that they will be more mindful of my son.  This is real and hiding this problem isn't a way to help with it.  I know that most people keep these things "private" because they are embarrassing and for some reason we take them so personal like we must be doing something wrong if we or our family has depression.  I don't say it around Jared but still feel like others that work with him need to know.  That is even why I am putting it here.  It's real and Jared isn't the first to experience it and he won't be the last and I was thankful for a list to help me know how to start.

Forever Friends....no matter where we live

We use to all be neighbors while we were raising our families. (I'm still raising mine but I was even when they were) Now we have all moved but that doesn't matter because we will always be friends no matter where we live.  I moved first to Hooper, then Denise moved to North Ogden and then Lorrilee built a house in Clinton.  It's funny how friendships can and do last forever.  When you bond to some people there is nothing that will change that.  I admire these two beautiful ladies.  They are so strong in my eyes.  They endure many trials and their faith remains strong and great.  I love them with all my heart and I will pray that they will make it through their trials that they each have right now.  Crud it seems like everyone I know has things right now....at least no one can feel picked on.  Or maybe we should all feel picked on? Just kidding we all know we are blessed!

I realize I say it all the time but I am so thankful for my friends.....each and every one of them!

A Day as a Missionary

Our Ward had a pretty cool activity for the 16, 17, and 18 year old young men and young women.  They met at our house at 7:30 am and were instructed about being missionaries.  We had 18 youth show up.  I wasn't planning on attending since I'm not in the Young Women Program anymore but I knew that Braxton was coming to talk to the youth at 9:30 and decided that I wanted to hear him. So I got ready and headed out to the kitchen.  When I reached the bar the "spirit" hit me.  The kids were studying and so it was quiet.  I hadn't heard anything that had previously been said but I knew it was good and true because of how I "felt".  It was awesome and because of that I stayed for the rest of the day listening and watching.

The Bishop and the YW & YM Presidents did a wonderful job in planning this activity.  Actually from the mouth of Bishop Ropelato, the spirit had it all planned out and the leaders just made it happen.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints really is HIS (Jesus's) Church.  He is the one that guides and instructs each ward.  The leaders need to be in tune and prepared for His instruction and when they are....wow....miracles happen!  It's fun to witness and I will say that for me that is the coolest part of Larry's calling for me.

To start things off the kids had breakfast, there was lots of fruit, bagels and cereal.  At the beginning the kids watched a video of being called on a mission.  It's not by chance they get sent where they do.  Bro & Sister Simpson came and talked to the "missionaries" since they were Mission Presidents.  (that's they part I missed)  The kids had a little time to study.  Then Braxton came and taught them how to teach about the plan of salvation.  I was one proud momma as I listened to my son teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I felt the spirit again.  I love feeling the spirit and try to feel it throughout each and every day.

President Malone came and talked about being worth to go to the House of the Lord.  If you are worthy to go to the Temple then you are worthy to go on a mission.  He let the youth know that it is really important to take care of any misdeed before leaving because it's harder taking care of such things after. (on them and their families)  Ronnie spoke about his experiences and some the the things that he learned. He spoke how missionaries will make your life different forever.  As he was saying those things I thought how each of my sons missions helped me to even be better.  I'm sure they have no idea by them serving it also strengthens their families but it does.  I have grown from each of my sons missions.  I felt I needed to step up my life to feel comfortable around them.  It was a good thing.

We all went to Sacrament Meeting and "miraculously" the speakers talks went right along with today's message at our house.  Funny how often that works out.....must be inspiration. (of course it is!)  It happens all the time.  The Speakers in Sacrament Mtg so often talk about the things in the others classes for the day...this Church is lead by inspiration....it's true!

The youth prepared lunch when we got back and were filled and ready for more.  Our friend Wayne Willey who is investigating the church came with his sweet wife to let the youth teach and question him.  It was a great experience.  I loved watching the youth turn to their scriptures and tell scenarios that helped Wayne's questions be answered. We learned later that some of the things said were also answers to some of the others prayers. (so cool)  After Wayne talked with the youth, each youth was assigned a companion and together they went out to teach a family about the restoration.  I know it was kind of scary for the youth but I think it also helped them realize what a mission will really be like.

They met back at our home and then they had a Testimony Meeting.  It was a great day and I am really glad that I decided to come in and listen and observe.  It was the Bishops best day.  He spent a few less hours working today and during that time was edified and helped edify everyone else.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is True!  I'm thankful that I know that.....I thankful that I "feel" that!

Let it go or hit it away!

Sometimes in life we have things thrown at us that we really don't need to catch.  I always thought that I had to catch the things being thrown at me, even the negative, cruel things so I did.  The problem with catching them is that I saved them and I let them hold me down and hurt me.  It's taken me this long to realize I don't have to catch them anymore.  I can even pick up the things that I have held and thrown them away.....I don't need to keep them just because I caught them.

The other day I had someone say some mean things to me and that's when I realized that I didn't have to believe those things.  You know...we all have negative things about us but we all have a lot more positive.  It's best to be around people that focus on the positive and build us up.  (we all know our faults & weaknesses best & don't need others pointing them out...those that do aren't friends)  I realize that my closest friends know my faults but they also know my strengths and I love that they see me for my strengths instead of my weaknesses.  I am a daughter of God and it's what He thinks that matters.  God knows us best and loves us all in spite of our weaknesses and mistakes.  Thank goodness for that.

I am Me and finally that is Enough!

I never get tired of these!

Knock Knock.......

I love going to the door and seeing flowers being delivered to me.  It never gets old and it always makes me smile.  Larry knows it and I guess that is why he keeps sending them to me.  I love how cheerful these flowers are and the vase is even cute!  I hate to say it but I set them down for a second  and they fell off the table and a few stems broke a little. :(  oops!  My hubby is a thoughtful guy more days than not and I need to be reminded every now and then.....flowers are good reminders! Booyah!

sometimes you receive the answer, sometimes you are the answer

I went bowling yesterday and had a great time. (I usually do) The ladies that have me sub for them are always so kind to me and compliment and encourage me.  They are all old enough to be my mom and so it makes me feel good when they say nice things. (they're experienced & know what's important & good)  Being kind is such a simple thing and also so meaningful.

After bowling I went up to Weber High to visit my sister/friend, Tonya.  I could tell as soon as I saw her that her life was being challenged. (I know the Lord sent me) She shared her concerns with me and then I told her about the things going on in my life.  We all have stuff and Tonya and I have stuff at the same time.  Life isn't easy but if we watch and listen we will see the hand of the Lord in our lives.  He is always giving us tender mercies.  Today I received more answers to my stuff but I also know that I was the answer, or had the answer to some of Tonya's stuff.  There were a few things that I said that I know were not my thoughts.  I know God was using my voice to talk to my sweet Tonya.  I love when that happens. It just feels good.

We get knocked down and we get back up......that's life!  When we are up we need to look for opportunities to be Kind to someone else.  Kindness is a two way blessing.  You will not ever go wrong by choosing kindness.  Kindness Matters!