TJ is a year older

I like this guy...I like this guy a lot!  TJ is a very giving guy that has taken great care of my daughter and her kids.  He jokes around and has a good time.  He works hard and plays hard.  TJ makes us laugh and is fun to be around.  When I first met TJ he told Trichelle that he had me at Hello.  I can say that wasn't true.  I was leery for quite awhile.  I had seen my daughters heart broke a few times and I wasn't ready to give this guy a chance.  But...now I can honestly say He's a Keeper!  When times are tough he hasn't ran and hasn't let Trichelle run either.  I like that!  He has many wonderful qualities and has a tender, loving heart.  TJ is a good man and I'm glad he is part of our family!

Holding a Grudge

This week I've thought a lot about holding a grudge.  I think we all do it at times because we are human.  I think grudges are a form of protecting ourselves.  We were probably hurt by someone's actions or voice in the first place and that is how the grudge starts.  Then we hold on and while we hold on we miss out.

I haven't seen my mom's brothers since I was in high school.  I know very little about them and it's because my mom was hurt years ago and withdrew from them.  Both brothers live in California and so withdrawing from them was easy to do.

Years ago I found them on the internet and gave them a call.  I had a reason to call.  I borrowed my mom's genealogy years ago and apparently lost it.  (I hope my mom finds it at her house...or if it's at my house I hope I find it)  Anyway that was my excuse to call them.  I was hoping they had some genealogy but they didn't. Since then I have sent them Christmas cards and wedding invites so that they kind of know what's going on here.  There is something inside of me that wants to know them better. (at least my mom's oldest brother...he's the one I remember most)

I talked to Uncle Morris after my dad passed and so he's been on my mind.  A week before Christmas Larry acted on a whim and booked a cruise for us.  It's a short 3 day cruise but it's a get away and that's what he needs.  The ship is leaving from a port in CA and whenever we go to CA I think of my uncles.  We are driving to CA since it was so quick and it would have cost too much for airplane tickets.  Anyway I asked Larry to see if they lived anywhere close to where we were going.  Surprisingly Uncle Morris is in the right direction.  I called Aunt Gail and told her of our plans and asked her if there was any chance that we could meet them somewhere for breakfast so that we could visit a bit before we boarded the ship.  I was thrilled that they were so willing to meet us.  They actually had something Tuesday morning but said they would change it so they could meet us.  Originally I was suppose to ask them what city was close to them that we could meet but as we were talking I mentioned that I had heard Larry say something about Barstow.  Immediately Aunt Gail said they could meet us in Bartow which was right on our path. (it's 100 miles from them) I'm excited and Aunt Gail and Uncle Morris said they are too.

Anyway I thought the reason I don't know them is because of a grudge that was formed by my mom because she got hurt over something.  It made me think about the grudge I held against my mom for years and how my kids missed out on getting to know her better because of it. I was trying to protect my kids from being hurt like I had been. (I might have hurt them more by holding them back) Then I got thinking that over all the years there have only been a handful of hurtful, mean things said and done and all the rest of the times good things.  Yet, I remembered and held on to the negative as many of us do.  Grudges aren't good for anyone....forgiveness would be so much better.

In fairness though to everyone we do what we need to do to survive.  When people hurt us we stay away to avoid being hurt more.  When friends betray us or hurt us we change friends.  With family it's different....we will always be connected.

So....if you are holding a grudge do what you can to dissolve it before it takes away years from your life.  Be Happy.  Be Forgiving. Be Kind.  Be Loving. Be Bigger than Big! ☺