My weeks are such a blur. I can't remember even the things that I am suppose to do that are on the calendar. Even as much as you want life to stop for a minute it doesn't. It goes on and so do your responsibilities. I go to my parents every day and rub my daddy's feet...he looks forward to me coming and rubbing his feet. I am happy that I am able to serve him in this small way.
I believe we were blessed with a few really good days. We all needed them especially my little brother, Bennett. We laughed and had a good time those days and we were all together. My parents and all their kids. Having been blessed with those good days makes me realize that my daddy really is slipping....I can see it now. Daddy gets really irritable in the evenings and I think he isn't comfortable in his own skin. I feel that way when I am really tired...which I am sure is just slightly how my dad really feels.
My mom is so good and being so quiet and respectful. I admire her strength at this time. I can see how tired she is as well. This is tiring for everyone in different ways. It's hard letting go but it's hard watching someone you love be miserable too.
On Tuesday the only thing on my calendar was an ortho appointment for Jared after school. I guess I didn't look at the calendar that day because I totally didn't know he had an appointment until Wednesday when I noticed his tooth was coming down so good. We came home and there it was alone on the calendar and I missed it. It makes me sick to miss appointments of any kind especially when I could have made it. UGH! I missed one in July too. The day we were leaving for girls camp...things were changed in the morning and "Poof" I forgot. I literally get sick to my stomach when I do such dumb things. On Tuesday I went to the Temple first thing and then took lunch to my mom and siblings. I was there early and had plenty of time to get home. Heck I probably was home by then or very close.
Tuesday night Larry and I went to visit the Marks. There son Dakota and his sweetheart just had a baby three months early and the little baby passed away on Monday. Shelley knew that I would help her with anything and so we went to see what we could do. I'm glad that Shelley asked for help...that makes me feel good. That is what Visiting Teaching and Home Teaching are all about....making friends that trust you and will call you when they are in need. I took Cary and Shelley a Sunshine Bag and also one for Dakota and Angelica. My heart goes out to them. My heart goes out to many of my friends at this time. I have friends that have some big trials...I guess we always do. One friend lost her best friend and has a suffering heart that will take time to heal. I know she feels a huge void and hurts beyond word. Another friend has a daughter suffering from an ugly divorce....ouch...that just hurts. The list goes on and on.....everyone has something at some time or another.
Wednesday I went early to rub my daddy's feet because I wanted to go to lunch with the Fun Bunch. I didn't really tell my family what I was doing because I know they don't understand sometimes..heck neither do I. It was good to be around my friends for a little while. I needed a little pick me up and some listening ears.
(when I went to the restroom my camera got used....I laughed and was caught off guard when I reviewed my pictures.)
I had to leave to accompany the missionaries at Janet Price's house. The missionaries text Larry the night before asking if I could do that. I enjoyed going to Jane'ts....I love her! Then we had piano which we ended up being a half hour late for. (thank goodness Natalie understands) I went to pick up Jared and my sweet friend Carla called and asked if I could stop by to pick up some dinner that she made for my entire family. (she is seriously the sweetest) She wanted to make it for my parents and brothers as well as my little family. It was a blessing this day.
As we were leaving our cute guest, Gaby came out and needed a ride to the train station. She was invited to meet her mission president in SLC. It worked out well and we made it to my mom's and had a really nice, yummy dinner. There were a lot of Yummmm sounds at the table. Carla was so thoughtful and sent two large jars of canned peaches for my daddy. He loved them and even purred while eating them. (he purrs when he really enjoys something) Larry and the other kids came up to which was nice so that we could all tell Terry good bye since he was leaving in the morning. Kimi and I stayed a little longer. My niece and her family came up and even though it didn't seem loud or hectic to me my dad got really irritable. (he was going Ape Sh** Crazy...his words) It was so sad to see him like that. He said he was sorry when I left....I told him not to worry...things happen. I broke on the way home. By the evening my daddy is exhausted and tired....I can't handle seeing that.
I went over to The Voss's and finally gave Linda a Sunshine bag. She goes to her serve her daddy every single morning. I admire my friends who are taking such good care of their aging parents.
The Hospice nurse checked my dad and said he didn't have long. He could go at any time or have a few weeks. Since hearing that my sister and I have spent the nights there. I really feel like I am helping and that we are all needed. We have figured out a little routine. I have my dads feet, legs and arms to soft from lotioning and rubbing them. He loves it which thrills me. I am also able to help move my daddy when we repositon him. My sister administers the meds and writes the amounts and times in a note book. My little brother is the muscle. We all decide together with my mom what we think needs to be done to help my daddy be the most comfortable. I am so thankful Larry and my kids are good with me being gone. I really need to be with my mom and dad and siblings at this time. This time is going to pass soon and many good and wonderful things are happening during this very hard time.
My breakfast club/book club met early Friday morning so that I could join them. I love that my friends like having me around and will arrange or change things so that I can go. I had set up a birthday lunch with the "Hooper Honey's) for Friday and then knew I wouldn't be able to make it when I had the Mark Funeral to attend. Instead of keeping the luncheon they changed it so I could attend. Such a little act of kindness that means so much to me.
The Funeral for the little Mark baby was perfect in every way. There was sadness of course but there was so much focus on how perfect little Drayden was and how he had accomplished what he needed to in his short weeks here. I was honored to be of service to the Mark family by helping arrange and help at the luncheon the Ward did for them. I love the Mark Family and our family is loved by them!
One of the days I came home for a minute my dear friend Kellie stopped over and gave me this yummy treat. Kellie has much more on her plate yet took the time to come over to comfort me. My trial is one we all will deal with ... it's part of life. Our individual trials aren't part of everyone's life...we each get different ones that just plain hurt and are hard to bare...but some how we do. These individual trials can take years ... they are hard. I admire my friends that are able to look outside of themselves to express their love to me. I have received many messages and texts and even some calls of love and concern. All are very much appreciated and mean so much to me. I seriously have the best friends
I've been spending a lot of time at this house this week. I feel safe and happy here. I always loved coming home to this home and the family that lives there. So much love in those walls. Even more now....we have all grown so much and the love has grown too.
***Larry told my brother Terry that he would drive to Oregon and bring him back. Instead he was able to get Terry a one way plane ticket. We plan on driving him back though and I am excited to see where he lives. I've seen pictures and I know it is beautiful. It will be nice to have Terry back. I've been keeping the couch warm for him and might miss sleeping in the front room listening to my dad's breathing and moaning. It's almost like having a new born. You listen close and get use to the sounds that are okay. It's been such a pleasure to me to serve my parents.
