Crazy

I believe I have boarded the crazy train.  It happens every so often in life....at least with me. As things & circumstance change we need to be flexible and adjust our lives to fit them right?  Well....I'm having a bit of trouble adjusting....maybe because I'm not sure why I need to.  Or maybe because things are changing directions or seem like they are rolling back.  For some reason I find myself confused.  I am confused at times of who I am which really doesn't make sense in even saying that since I feel like I have been shown parts of who I really am over the last several years....maybe more parts are being exposed.  (I have liked what I have learned about myself and part of my purpose) I am not really sure what's happening.....that is why I am confused.  If you are reading this I am probably confusing you...so feel free to stop reading because I am pretty sure I am going to continue to ramble. (ramble like the cars on a train)

There are parts of my past that I gave up that are surfacing.  For instance I have always loved to dance...there is just a part of me that is moved when I see performers dancing.  I gave up dancing when I met Larry.  He doesn't like to and has no rhythm and so I gave it up.  Oh I still dance around the house and around my kids and grands but .....  If you are still reading this and are still confused then stop and go on to another blog.  I don't understand why these things surfacing even matter to me....why I even care.  I have been fine without them in my life....I have learned to enjoy new things.  Isn't that what life is about? (adjusting, compromising, experiencing new things, being flexible) So I wonder......why am I so unsettled?  I know what my heart desires and I know the things I can do but I am not in control of making it all happen.  

I believe that is why I love going to the Temple at this time in my life.  Love it more than I ever have before.  I feel peace, unconditional love, acceptance, complete joy.  Not all my questions are answered while I am in the Temple and really I am still confused but while I am there I do feel peace.  So I guess that is where I turn for peace at this time in my life....and while I am there I am off the Crazy Train for awhile.  It feels good but I find myself right back on it when I come out.

I have been blessed with friends who listen, who let me vent and express myself and give me the best advice they can. (one particular that I am very thankful at this time)  I am thankful for God......I feel closer to HIM than ever before.  Maybe that's why the Crazy Train comes by and I jump on every now and then....I need to be reminded that God is always there for me and with me even when I am confused and don't understand.

If you are still reading....you must be crazy too! ;)