Blurrrrrrr

My weeks are such a blur.  I can't remember even the things that I am suppose to do that are on the calendar.  Even as much as you want life to stop for a minute it doesn't.  It goes on and so do your responsibilities.  I go to my parents every day and rub my daddy's feet...he looks forward to me coming and rubbing his feet.  I am happy that I am able to serve him in this small way.

I believe we were blessed with a few really good days.  We all needed them especially my little brother, Bennett.  We laughed and had a good time those days and we were all together.  My parents and all their kids.  Having been blessed with those good days makes me realize that my daddy really is slipping....I can see it now.  Daddy gets really irritable in the evenings and I think he isn't comfortable in his own skin.  I feel that way when I am really tired...which I am sure is just slightly how my dad really feels.

My mom is so good and being so quiet and respectful.  I admire her strength at this time.  I can see how tired she is as well.  This is tiring for everyone in different ways.  It's hard letting go but it's hard watching someone you love be miserable too.
                                 
On Tuesday the only thing on my calendar was an ortho appointment for Jared after school.  I guess I didn't look at the calendar that day because I totally didn't know he had an appointment until Wednesday when I noticed his tooth was coming down so good.  We came home and there it was alone on the calendar and I missed it.  It makes me sick to miss appointments of any kind especially when I could have made it.  UGH!  I missed one in July too.  The day we were leaving for girls camp...things were changed in the morning and "Poof" I forgot.  I literally get sick to my stomach when I do such dumb things.  On Tuesday I went to the Temple first thing and then took lunch to my mom and siblings.  I was there early and had plenty of time to get home.  Heck I probably was home by then or very close.

Tuesday night Larry and I went to visit the Marks.  There son Dakota and his sweetheart just had a baby three months early and the little baby passed away on Monday.  Shelley knew that I would help her with anything and so we went to see what we could do.  I'm glad that Shelley asked for help...that makes me feel good.  That is what Visiting Teaching and Home Teaching are all about....making friends that trust you and will call you when they are in need.   I took Cary and Shelley a Sunshine Bag and also one for Dakota and Angelica.  My heart goes out to them.  My heart goes out to many of my friends at this time.  I have friends that have some big trials...I guess we always do.  One friend lost her best friend and has a suffering heart that will take time to heal.  I know she feels a huge void and hurts beyond word.  Another friend has a daughter suffering from an ugly divorce....ouch...that just hurts.  The list goes on and on.....everyone has something at some time or another.

Wednesday I went  early to rub my daddy's feet because I wanted to go to lunch with the Fun Bunch.  I didn't really tell my family what I was doing because I know they don't understand sometimes..heck neither do I.  It was good to be around my friends for a little while. I needed a little pick me up and some listening ears.

(when I went to the restroom my camera got used....I laughed and was caught off guard when I reviewed my pictures.)

 I had to leave to accompany the missionaries at Janet Price's house.  The missionaries text Larry the night before asking if I could do that.  I enjoyed going to Jane'ts....I love her!  Then we had piano which we ended up being a half hour late for.  (thank goodness Natalie understands)  I went to pick up Jared and my sweet friend Carla called and asked if I could stop by to pick up some dinner that she made for my entire family.  (she is seriously the sweetest)  She wanted to make it for my parents and brothers as well as my little family.  It was a blessing this day.

As we were leaving our cute guest, Gaby came out and needed a ride to the train station.  She was invited to meet her mission president in SLC.  It worked out well and we made it to my mom's and had a really nice, yummy dinner. There were a lot of  Yummmm sounds at the table.  Carla was so thoughtful and sent two large jars of canned peaches for my daddy.  He loved them and even purred while eating them.  (he purrs when he really enjoys something)  Larry and the other kids came up to which was nice so that we could all tell Terry good bye since he was leaving in the morning.  Kimi and I stayed a little longer.  My niece and her family came up and even though it didn't seem loud or hectic to me my dad got really irritable. (he was going Ape Sh** Crazy...his words) It was so sad to see him like that.  He said he was sorry when I left....I told him not to worry...things happen.  I broke on the way home.  By the evening my daddy is exhausted and tired....I can't handle seeing that.

I went over to The Voss's and finally gave Linda a Sunshine bag.  She goes to her serve her daddy every single morning.  I admire my friends who are taking such good care of their aging parents.

The Hospice nurse checked my dad and said he didn't have long.  He could go at any time or have a few weeks. Since hearing that my sister and I have spent the nights there.  I really feel like I am helping and that we are all needed.  We have figured out a little routine.  I have my dads feet, legs and arms to soft from lotioning and rubbing them.  He loves it which thrills me.  I am also able to help move my daddy when we repositon him.  My sister administers the meds and writes the amounts and times in a note book.  My little brother is the muscle.  We all decide together with my mom what we think needs to be done to help my daddy be the most comfortable.  I am so thankful Larry and my kids are good with me being gone.  I really need to be with my mom and dad and siblings at this time.  This time is going to pass soon and many good and wonderful things are happening during this very hard time.

My breakfast club/book club met early Friday morning so that I could join them.  I love that my friends like having me around and will arrange or change things so that I can go.  I had set up a birthday lunch with the "Hooper Honey's) for Friday and then knew I wouldn't be able to make it when I had the Mark Funeral to attend.  Instead of keeping the luncheon they changed it so I could attend.  Such a little act of kindness that means so much to me.

The Funeral for the little Mark baby was perfect in every way.  There was sadness of course but there was so much focus on how perfect little Drayden was and how he had accomplished what he needed to in his short weeks here.  I was honored to be of service to the Mark family by helping arrange and help at the luncheon the Ward did for them.  I love the Mark Family and our family is loved by them!

One of the days I came home for a minute my dear friend Kellie stopped over and gave me this yummy treat.  Kellie has much more on her plate yet took the time to come over to comfort me.  My trial is one we all will deal with ... it's part of life.  Our individual trials aren't part of everyone's life...we each get different ones that just plain hurt and are hard to bare...but some how we do.  These individual trials can take years ... they are hard.  I admire my friends that are able to look outside of themselves to express their love to me.  I have received many messages and texts and even some calls of love and concern.  All are very much appreciated and mean so much to me.  I seriously have the best friends

I've been spending a lot of time at this house this week.  I feel safe and happy here.  I always loved coming home to this home and the family that lives there.  So much love in those walls.  Even more now....we have all grown so much and the love has grown too.

***Larry told my brother Terry that he would drive to Oregon and bring him back.  Instead he was able to get Terry a one way plane ticket.  We plan on driving him back though and I am excited to see where he lives.  I've seen pictures and I know it is beautiful.  It will be nice to have Terry back.  I've been keeping the couch warm for him and might miss sleeping in the front room listening to my dad's breathing and moaning.  It's almost like having a new born.  You listen close and get use to the sounds that are okay.  It's been such a pleasure to me to serve my parents.

Sunday Break

I woke up listening to my daddy's breathing on  Sunday morning.  I was keeping the couch warm for Terry until he flew in again. (tomorrow...Monday)  My mom's Bishop and his Counselor brought us all the Sacrament.  Having the Sacrament served to me next to my daddy's bed was powerful.  The spirit filled my soul.  Today it meant so much to me...I wasn't distracted...I understood completely the privilege of taking it.  I watched my family also partake of it.  My little brother hadn't had the sacrament since he was a child and I could tell it meant a lot to him.  My daddy struggled a little but it was neat to see him partake of it as well.  I will always remember how special...or hope to remember this experience.  It was truly wonderful!

I went home to get dinner ready for my family.  Larry had also invited the sister missionaries over for dinner and so I left to get things ready.  It was wonderful being surrounded by my own little family..the ones I helped get here. ;)  It was a great day.  

We all enjoyed the missionaries and their wonderful spirits.  Our house was full of Angels.  In a few of these pictures you can see that we truly are surrounded my angels.

These little ones that call me gramma do magical things to my heart.  They are such a joy to have in my life.  I love all these little's so much.  I love their wonderful parents...they truly are wonderful!

My little Sunday Break was rewarding.  I appreciate the time we all have together.  The Love of Family truly is Life's Greatest Joy!

Oh what a week!

It's a complete joy for me to have my grands over.  Zaden ended up sleeping over with us on Monday which was good because he will be with his dad this weekend.  He liked that he got to spend the night by himself.  I liked that I got to wake up to his cute face on Monday because I knew this week was going to be hard.  My dad isn't doing good and I planned on spending time with him and my mom.

My brothers both came home to help with my dad.  I didn't know they were coming.  I guess because I keep my life so busy others don't think I need to know what's going on.  Twice this week I had people say something to me about being so busy.  Really the things I post only take a few hours of my day.  I do try to keep busy and I do try to plan things each day because those things keep me going.  However, I am very flexible and when I am needed I can change things.  I'm glad my brothers came home because I really had thought that they needed to.  

The doctors have tested my dad to find out why he doesn't feel good and why he is so weak.  They can't find anything really and so they aren't able to treat him because there really isn't anything to fix.  His heart and kidney's are both starting to fail but it's because they are worn out not because they have an infection or anything.  Tuesday it was decided by the entire family, including my dad that he would go home with Hospice.  Hospice keeps the patient comfortable.  Because life isn't being sustained anymore my dad is able to quit taking his heart and kidney meds.  In a way that is nice because they made his mind foggy...now he can think normally.  It was hard for me to see my dad frustrated and anxious.  I realized coming home that night that no amount of preparation is enough when you are letting someone you love go.  It hurts....it will always hurt as long as there is love between you.  

Hillary and Brian came in for a visit.  I think it's a tender mercy that they are here at this time.  Hillary is such a cutie and always invites me to go to lunch with her while she is here.  This week wasn't very good and so they brought lunch to all of us at the hospital on Tuesday.  I love my cute niece and her cute family.  They are just plain good through and through.

When I came home on Tuesday I passed my cute visiting teacher who had just left me a little treat for this month.  I seriously believe she was inspired to wait until the last day of the month because I needed that little act of love on this day.  Heavenly Father knew that on this day I was going to have a hard time and he sent my visiting teacher to me.  I know many will say that was a coincident even Mindy said she was just a slacker.....I don't believe it.

It's hard to let someone go but it's even harder to watch them slowly die.  I have more compassion for my friends and family that have experienced this.  I was with my sister when her hubby died but this is different....this is my blood....the man who has always been there for me.  The man who has taught me so much.  The man that provided and protected me.  The man I call daddy!

On Wednesday I had a lunch date with Debbie.  We have been wanting to go for months and had just planned this get together on Monday.  I thought about postponing it but didn't because I needed a little break.  It worked out that I took Trichelle with me.  I love cute Debbie and she is very supportive and is also going through a similar experience with her dad.  After lunch Trichelle and I picked up Ivy and went back up to my parents home.  We visited some more.  My daddy mostly slept this day.  I enjoy the little stories that I am hearing.  I like having my family together.  I love seeing the love between my mom and dad.  I am glad that my mom is being carried at this time and is doing so well.  That is comforting to me.

I don't feel like I am doing anything and I need to be doing something.  The "thought" came to scatter a little sunshine.  I couldn't remember what treats I needed for more bags and so I just went and bought all the treats again.  My house has a bunch of treats right now.

I got up early on Thursday and made 6 Sunshine bags.  I took them all with me to my parents even though I knew that I was just planning on giving out four.  I knew soon who the other two were for.  I gave them to my brothers my sister and my mom.  I also gave one to Paula who just "happened" to be here from West Virginia this week and was checking on her parents home right next to my parents.  She just went through this with her dad this last year.  I gave her one of the Sunshine Bags and the other one I will give to another neighbor who takes care of her dad that lives across the street from my parents. Linda comes in the morning though and so I had missed her.  She will get it next week.  There is something about doing something nice for others that helps take my mind off of my hurt.  I felt good for scattering a little sunshine with the others.  There is also something about cranking the radio up so you can't think....I did that a few times this week and will probably continue to turn the music up until my daddy passes.

Larry and I had been planning on taking Vicky to lunch since Dave passed away and it's been ten months already and so on Friday we took her to LaFerovia.  I had told my mom that I would take dinner for her and the boys on Friday  and so I started getting things ready before lunch.  I finished up after lunch and Jared and I took it up.  Larry and Kimleighel came a little later when Kimi got off work.  We decided to just eat with them that night.  Again I felt good for doing something...for serving my brothers and my mom.  Everyone enjoyed the meal and I left the left overs so that my brothers could get themselves some if they got hungry.  Earlier in the week I took a large bag of rolls and some soup mixes that they could make up.  It makes me feel bad that my mom is preparing meals for everyone....but maybe that makes her feel good...I don't know. (my dad has said "I don't know" a lot this last little while)

Justin brought his family up Friday night but my dad had just fell asleep.  Daddy had been doing well that day and was alert and awake and even eating.  He had just barely started to hurt before Justin's family came and so he had been given some pain med and it put him to sleep.

 I had enjoyed seeing him awake and visiting with him.  Some times I wonder if it really is his time to go.  When he is doing good I wonder and kind of believe that he will get stronger and maybe even better.  Then I remember how he has been the last little while and my brothers or hubby remind me that he is on some good pain reliever that is helping him to be comfortable.  I realize I suffer with denial.  I didn't think my daddy was as bad as he was until I really stopped and thought about it.  Now I find myself believing he is getting stronger and might get better when I see him have a good day.  One thing I do know is that I will cherish the time we have left.  I will try to find ways to serve my siblings, mom and dad.  I will enjoy this time that we have together right now.

Saturday I stayed busy with the grands.  Larry and I went to Kamryn's soccer game and then I got to watch Justin and Natalie's cute little ones while they went to SLC for Conference.  The grands are so cute and Macie is a little scooter girl.  She can get all over now and it's fun to watch her explore.  I gave her a little burp cloth and she acted like she was cleaning with it.  She played with the little burpie for quite some time.  Natalie visited with me while the guys went to the Priesthood Meeting.

 We went to LaFerrovia after the Priesthood Meeting because that is what we always do...it's a tradition...a family tradition.  We missed TJ, Zaden, and Kelsi but we were happy to have Gaby from Mexico join us.  (Gaby is staying at our house for a week while she is visiting UT)  I love my silly family.  I love how they pose for pictures because they are so silly and make this mommy smile.  I laughed when Trichelle crawled under that table to get to her chair and to get back out.  I love the kid in all my kids.  My grands are little chips off the blocks....all of them!

Another tradition on Conference Weekend is to have the grands sleep over.  This year Zaden was at his dads but he was okay with missing since he got to sleep over Monday all by himself.  The grands always have a great time together.  They are getting easier each year.  I let them play until 11:00 and then had them so to bed.  They were pretty good about settling down.  I didn't hear them until about 8:30 am.  I made them french toast and got out the dress ups so they could play before their parents came and got them.  I like our little tradition that Ivy kind of started.  She would ask to spend the night and since I really try to be fair we started having everyone.  This weekend Ivy was with her dad but I just text him and Martha and asked if Ivy could come...they like me and said Yes!  I like them too!  I love that the grands play so well together and love being together.  I hope the always will.

We went up to my parents between Conference and my daddy was doing great.  He was awake and talking.  He asked us about his legs not working.  We told him that his legs kind of gave out a week or so ago.  His mind is doing good and he has ate better the last couple of days.  I wanted to do something for my daddy and I thought that maybe I could rub his feet.  He said that would be wonderful and so I got some cream and rubbed away.  Normally I think his feet might gross me out a little since men's feet kind of do and older people's are worse.  I wasn't grossed out but then again I really didn't look at his feet while I rubbed them.  Dad liked it so much he asked us to comb his hair.  I let Jared have the pleasure of doing that.  My dad was loving all the TLC (tender lovin care)  He asked Kimleighel what she was going to do and she decided to rub his hands with lotion.  He purred his little purr....which of course made me smile.  It was such a great visit.  Daddy mentioned he was eager to get his grip back for a good hand shake.  I think he's got some fight left in him. I don't think he's ready to leave us quite yet....I'm thankful for that.

Next week I think I will see if my mom needs help with any cleaning.  I want to be of service because when I serve I just feel good.  This is a crazy time.  I don't understand everything and ask a lot of why's but I do know that I have Faith in God and also His Timing.  I'm thankful for the memories we are making right now.  I love my daddy and my mom and siblings.  I am thankful for the memories we have together.  I'm glad that we are all here together.

Out it Jumped

I enjoy Fast Sunday.  I always feel the "Spirit" and I absolutely love feeling the "Spirit".  I try to do the things I should so that I feel it often during the week.  But, Sundays the Spirit is stronger and for longer because I am focusing on the Lord and doing what's right.  I guess I'm just more prepared on Sundays.  I made a deal a few years ago with God....actually I think it was God that made a deal with me.  He said that I would be forgiven of my sins and weaknesses if I would testify of Him.  Sometimes I don't want to bare my testimony because I feel fear and inadequate.  Then I am reminded by the "Spirit" and so I just do it.  I always feel much better after testifying my beliefs.  My hands quit sweating and my heart goes back to a normal beat and I can breathe.  The Spirit always wins....I was part of a deal.  I think it's important to write though that I get scared.  I don't feel brave or confident at all...I just do what I know I am suppose to do.  I don't worry what to say because those thoughts are also put in my head.  Most of the time I don't even remember what I said.

Another thing about me is some times words jump right out of my mouth and surprise me and those I'm with.  Today Larry was ordaining Jared to be a Priest in the  Aaronic Priesthood.  Our family that could come was gathered around and placed their hands on Jared's head.  Larry then started by saying: "Kevin Clyde Ropelato" and without thinking I hollered STOP.  We all laughed and I reminded Kevin he wasn't forgotten and that we appreciated him for being there.  Then Larry called Jared the correct name and gave him a nice blessing.  I think it's funny that every now and then Larry messes up the kids names too....I did it quite often when I had them all at home.  I think I still do occasionally.  I'm thankful for the Priesthood and that my boys all are worthy to hold it.   I am thankful for the support of our family.  I am thankful that my mom calls my boys to bless her and my dad when they need it.  She called them Friday and Justin and Kevin went and gave my dad another blessing.  (they didn't know that Larry had just given him one and I know my dad didn't tell them since they had made the effort of going up to give him one.)  I am thankful for all the wonderful things that Heavenly Father has blessed us with to make life more enjoyable and that help us get through it.

Homecoming

Jared was pretty excited that he was old enough to go to the first dance of his High School experience.  It's kind of nice having kids that are older versus those that are the youngest for reasons like this.  (Trichelle barely turned 16 the first week of her Junior year...bummer for her since she got asked to a few dances her Sophomore year)  Kimi was invited her first year of High School to Homecoming but hasn't since...kind of sad.  Since I mentioned Kimi I will say that we heard that someone was going to ask her but chickened out.  Kimi was excited that she was thought of at least.  She was really excited because of the source we heard it from.  The kid that had heard is very cute and one of the most popular kids and Kimi didn't think any of his friends even knew her.  I enjoyed seeing her excitement.

Jared asked his good friend Maddi.  Maddi is Jared's best friend.  He goes to her when he needs to talk because she is a good listener and kind and I pretty nice to look at.  I thought it was appropriate that good friends share their first real date together.  I think by asking your best friend you can relax and enjoy the night.  These two did enjoy the entire day together.  Jared woke up at 5:30 am to go make breakfast for the girls.  They picked the girls up and after eating they went four wheelin...it rained but Jared said it wasn't too bad.  They also shot guns at "clay pigeons" and enjoyed that too.  Jared, Conner and Eric planned this date out well.  They were very organized and did a good job.  At first I was worried since I didn't know what was going on and then I realized that was silly of me...these boys had it covered.  They brought the girls home to get ready and picked them up a few hours later so they could go to dinner.  They went to a place called Woody's.  I hadn't heard of it but one of the boys knew the owner or manager and so they went there.

Jared got home just before Midnight and I could tell that he had a good time.  I am thankful for this cute boy and I'm glad that he took Maddi to homecoming.  I am so proud of him....he paid for the entire date.  This kid saves his money and always has quite a bit in his wallet.  I feel a little bit responsible that they didn't have pictures taken at the dance.  I told Jared that he probably didn't need the most expensive package but to ask Maddi what she thought.  He asked Maddi if she wanted pictures and being sweet she said it didn't matter.  Oops...I think it kind of matters to girls.  I didn't mean for them not to get any.  Thank goodness for the pre-dance pictures.  I hope we get a few more of the group.  Jared said that one of the dads took some....I hope.

I'm glad Jared had a good time and is enjoying High School.  I hope him and Kimi both make fun memories and enjoy these crazy years of their lives.

Weekly Tidbits

***I'm not sure what my problem is lately.  I remember my camera and then forget to use it.  Oh well as long as there are pictures I can use I will.  Darn it!  Tuesday Carla invited me to go with her to take Robin to lunch for her birthday since we missed the luncheon with the sista's where they kind of celebrated.  I was happy to go...heck I'm always happy to go.  We went to a Mexican place, I think it was Melinda's but not sure.  It was good.  Then we went and practiced bowling at the base since it is only $1.00 a game.  We had a good time but forgot to leave before everyone got off work.  It took us a half an hour to get off the base.  That too was fun...and funny!  I really enjoy my time with my friends...so thankful to be surrounded by such good people.
***Went to the Temple on Wednesday since my day became open.  I was planning on a fun day with friends but Pam, who had planned it, couldn't leave her daughter and so we are postponing it.  I was okay with that because I want to get to the Temple often now that it's open again.  I love, love, love the Temple.  I was having a hard time finding a parking place when I got to the Temple because so many others have missed our Temple too. I thought about coming home and then there was an open spot.  I took it and immediately was glad I hadn't left.  The Spirit was so strong today...I had a wonderful experience and nothing could have been better.  Does the Lord guide our Lives?  Ummm.YES HE DOES!
***Larry asked me out to dinner.  WooHoo!  We went to Long Horn Steak House and the company was wonderful but the service...not so much.  I could tell Larry was getting ticked when he slapped his cloth napkin on his bench.  I laughed and we started joking about how poor the service was.  They might have been under staffed because they were like turtles.  I was really glad the food was good.  It took 45 minutes for us to get our little dinner salads...just a little slow.  It was good we weren't in a hurry.  I don't think Larry will hurry back there either.

***Thursday for SNAP we talked about hygiene and taking care of ourselves.  The focus was more on our hair and a cute gal came and did a few little styles on a few of the gals.  They really enjoyed it.  I remembered my camera was in the car and so I ran and got it.  I really did run and was reminded how out of shape I am.  Oh well....not my talent or specialty. (running)
***Finally I got my Glinda Costume returned.  A gal brought it to SNAP but when I looked closely I noticed the crown was missing.  I met her again when SNAP was over so I could get that back too.  The crown is what I really needed....it's that time of year again. HeeHee
***My dad hasn't done well since he returned home.  It breaks my heart and shocks me.  I thought he would keep improving but that isn't happening.  He passed out Thursday and had an Ambulance ride back to the Emergency.  Larry and I went to visit Friday night and dad just said his body is wearing out.  Larry and I both got the impression he was okay with that and probably won't try too hard to get stronger or better.  My dad never has been a fighter....just a mellow, go with the flow type of guy.  He did ask Larry for a blessing.  Dad said that mom wanted him to ask for one.  I know he wanted a blessing for him to even remember.   His mind is foggy and he doesn't think or respond like usual.

***Mal caught up with me on Friday.  She is now the same age as me and Kathy and so we celebrated.  Same place and time. (Applebee's at 3:00)  Kathy couldn't make it this week so we are meeting again next week. (we would meet twice anyway...that's what we do...celebrate twice with all of us so we each have a turn buying the birthday girl lunch)  I enjoyed our visit.  Mallory said that she did too.  Sometimes one on one is just good for the soul.  I love my Pal, Mal!  She's just one of the best people alive.  She is a determined gal with so much discipline.  She lost 50 lbs a few years back and is determined to not gain it back.  (she won't)  She is going to run another half marathon in a month and she told me she has never felt the runners high.  She doesn't enjoy running but does it to prove she can.  She pushes herself.  I admire that push in others since I don't have it.  I'm more like my dad....mellow go with the flow.  I don't have the  push or drive I see in my friends and kind of wish I did.  I stop when I'm tired and eat what I enjoy.   Oh well....it's who I am!  I love this friend of mine that has shared so much of life with me.  I think we have both grown up pretty good.  We have great lives and wonderful families.  I cherish our friendship...I cherish Mallory!

Ivy's day off of school

Ivy called me Sunday to see if she could come to my house on Monday since she didn't have school.  Of course...I love having my grands over.  She said it would be better if she could just spend the night so she wouldn't have to wake up so early.  I agreed that would be better.  (I love that Ivy and my other grands like to spend the night with us)  So Ivy spent the night.  She was planning on sleeping on a mat in Kimi's room but Kimi is the one that ended up sleeping on the mat because Ivy feel asleep in her bed first.  I love how kind my kids are to my cute grands.  They all love each other so much.

Ivy was up pretty early anyway since Kimi and Jared did have to get up to go to school.  We enjoyed the morning and then I made her favorite breakfast....pancakes...with chocolate chips. (at least that's her favorite at my house)  I made big pancakes so she would only need one.  It filled her up. ☺

 The only thing I wanted to do today was take a little gift to an old friend of mine.  When I delivered Kimleighel two other mom's were also delivering baby girls.  Kimleighel was the only one that was born breathing....the other two passed away before their birth.  Larry had seen the father of one in the hall.  He knew Dennis and came back to my room with tears in his eyes and told me what was happening in the other two rooms.  We had monitors in our rooms that also showed what was happening in the other rooms and Larry and noticed that the other two rooms only had one monitor that was active.  (it makes sense...the baby monitors had nothing to monitor) Later I had heard that a childhood friend of mine was the other mom.  Recently I reconnected with Julie on facebook and messaged her asking if that rumor was true.  She told me that it was .... Julie was the other mom.  Knowing that for sure made me sad all over again for Julie and the other mom.  My heart grew bigger and had more compassion, sympathy and love for all mom's that loose their babies and especially those two on March 23, 1996.  I felt strongly that I should express my love and sympathy to Julie and so Ivy and I went and found a sweet Willow Angel and a Single Rose.  We took it to Julie's and left it on the porch.  I received a sweet message from Julie later.  She said that when she saw them she just had a very strong feeling....even a little voice tell her that they were from me.  She said she just knew before she read the card.  I think that's pretty cool....I know that same little voice told me to do it.

I took Ivy to Kneaders after since she had never been there.  It was fun spending the day with my cute grand.  I can't believe how fast they grow up.  I loved it when a lady walked by us and told Ivy how pretty or cute she was.  Ivy smiled and I told her that people did that all the time when she was little.  I'm so thankful that I get to enjoy my grands so much.